Teach me how to love again
by Meek77
Summary: Toby is the outcast of Rosewood. Spencer and her posse are the queens of rosewood. Toby doesn't believe in love because its 'stupid' and you get your heartbroken. Every. Single. Time. Will spencer be able to teach him how to love again? Or will she fail? Spoby!
1. Chapter 1

Toby POV/

I walked into school and had on my normal outfit. Jeans and a flannel. I only had two REAL friends. Noel and Damien. We were at my locker when the bitches walked in. That's what I called them. Then there is the assholes. They don't hang out, but they are the bullies. The bitches contains Alison, Spencer, Aria, I think that's her name. Emily, and either Alana or Hanna. I don't know what her name is. The assholes have Garret, Jason (not related to spencer or Alison), Jared, and Rick the dick. That's what I call him. I was walking towards the bitches, when one of them ran into me. I think it was Emily. She started falling backwards. I quickly put my hands on her back and caught her. She looked into my eyes as I helped her stand up.

"Ok. Toby Cavanaugh just touched you!" Hanna said in disgust. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry for helping." I told her mockingly as Noel chuckled. We pushed past them.

LUNCH/

We all sat at our usual table. I glanced at the bitch table and saw Emily smile at me. Aria turned around and glared at me. Then Emily got up. She walked up to me. I got up and walke over to grab my lunch because I haven't ate anything yet. Emily came next to me.

"I wanted to say thank you. That would have been TOTALLY embarrassing. And I don't think you are all that bad. I've heard you've had a tough past and it's so bad you can't talk about your family. Is that true?" She asked me. I smiled, maybe she could be the only nice one.

"Yeah. I uh. I-I tried to commit suicide last year. I still think about it. And thanks for c-caring. You're the only person that has come up to me and DIDNT yell at me or Yell at me. You might wanna go back there. So your friends don't notice you're over here." She looked shocked. Her eyes were wide and she probably felt bad for all these years. If I told her the truth she would fell really bad. But I don't know her that well. She walked back to hers and I walked back to mine.

EMILY POV/

I feel terrible. He tried to commit suicide? He still thinks about it? Part of that is from us bullying him. His sister sat down at our table.

"Hey guys." she told us. I was too shocked to speak. I feel TERRIBLE. We bullied him and there is bad things going on in his life. And we made that worse.

"Hey Jenna. What's your brothers past? What is it that's so bad?" I asked her. She glanced over at him.

"Why? Why do you wanna know?" Jenna asked. I thought about it.

"I just wanna know the truth. Sick of the rumors..." I replied to her.

"Well, he was born to save his brother Michael that had a bad sickness. it worked the first time. Failed the second tim. He blames himself for that. Then his dad was in the army. He got shot and killed. Him mother remarried to my dad and...my dad would abuse him like crazy. He still does. Everyday. I try to help but Toby is too like...caring I guess. He tells me and his mom to go and not to help and stuff. He knows karate but if he uses it, my dad will get even more mad. But a couple years ago, his favorite aunt went to her house to get his Christmas present. She never came back. She got into a car crash. He still blames himself for it. And that's all I know about him. The rest, you have to find out yourself." Everyone was shocked, spencer was crying a little bit. I was wide eyeded. Aria and Hanna were crying and Alison looked like she already knew.

"Alison, do you already know this?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I dated him, he doesn't want to date because of his step dad. His step dad tells him nobody will love him. And he doesn't want me to get hurt. I feel bad for him. But I guess I was just mad that he broke up with me." Wow. This was a lot of information to take in.

"Well, lets stop making fun of him and and be nice and help him?" I tried to say that but it came out like a question.

"I agree. He's actually pretty hot." Spencer said smiling dreamily.

"I know right?!" Aria and Hanna said at the same time then they started fighting.

"I think I can date him again. I think I have a chance." Alison said.

"I think he'd go for Aria or Spencer. Maybe emily. Maybe Alison. He seemed to really like you." Jenna said. Hanna gasped. We had 50 minutes left of lunch so we walked over to his table.

TOBY POV/

Once they put their tray down all three of our heads shot up. I took a deep breath, ready for anything they were gonna say.

"What did I do this time?" I asked them then they smiled. Wait. Huh?

"Nothing. We actually want to be friends." Spencer told me. This is weird.

"Dude! Gustavo needs us at 5 to record your new son-" Noel stopped and I covered his mouth and Damien slapped him in the back of the head. This cause the girls to laugh.

"What he meant was..." I was stuck. Alison might have told them. Shit.

"Alison can I talk to you?" I asked her. We walked to the other side.

"Did you tell them?" I asked her.

"Of course not. I wouldn't do that. But, I would like to try this again. Please Toby. I really like you." Alison said. I just walked away. I sat down and BOOM! I out my head in my hands.

"Again?! Toby?! Another flashback!? Shit man! You gotta stop that." Noel told me. I had another flash back of my aunts car crash. I don't know how I know what happened that day. But I do. The girls looked confused.

"So. Why do you want to be friends?" I asked spencer.

"Well, we feel bad making fun of you all these years... So we are sorry." Then the bell rang. Spencer followed me.

"Can you walk me to class? We have math together!" Spencer told me. She's gorgeous. What am I thinking?! Love is stupid! You just get your heartbroken everytime. I CAN'T fall in love.

"Of course." I smiled and we walked all the way to math class together. Well not alone. The girls, Noel, and Damien were with us talking. But spencer and I had our own conversation.

"Hey Kahn." Jarred and garret held Noel's two arms and Rick cocked his fist back and swung. I stepped in front and grabbed his fist.

"You probably SHOULDN'T have done that." Then i blacked out. The last I heard was a crack and his jaw bone was popping out. Then I blacked out again.

I opened my eyes and saw everyone in a circle around me, 4 guys on the floor. Rick was on the ground and his jaw bone was popping out. The others had nose bleeds and other injuries. Someone came up to me in a fighting stance. It was Jason. I did a backflip and and a flying dragon kick. (I don't know what it is. U know what I'm talking about right?) That sent him flying into the lockers. He tried to punched me and I ducked. Then everything went black. After a couple minutes I saw what I saw before, but this time, Jason was on the ground in pain as well.

SPENCER POV/

The whole school was in shock from that moment forward. I never knew he was capable of that. He made Rick's jaw bone pop out with one punch. ONE PUNCH! Aria, Emily, Alison, Hanna, and I turned to Noel when he yelled to Damien.

"GET HIM AWAY! YOU KNOW HE'S CAPABLE OF WORSE! HURRY! HE'S GONNA KILL SOMEONE." Noel yelled.

"SHIT!" Damien yelled. They sprinted and grabbed Toby. Running down the halls.

TOBY POV/

Noel and damien dragged me to noels house.

"Soooo. Why the hell happened?! I blacked out." I told them and they laughed.

"You kicked their asses, that's what happened." Noel told me and they laughed. I joined in.

"Dude! You made Rick the Dick's jaw mine pop out with one punch. ONE!" Damien yelled at me.

"It sounded awesome to watch!" I admitted.

"Hahaha it was amazing bro! Hey do you wanna crash here? I don't think you wanna go home. You can move here if you need to. We have a guest bedroom." Noel told me, smiling.

"Uhh yea. I'll sneak in and pack all my stuff. I'll go do that right now." I told Noel, standing up and running out the door. I thought about spencer the whole way there. Her laugh, her smile, her hair, her eyes. She's perfect.

Remember what I said about I can't fall in love?! Too late. I already did.


	2. Chapter 2

TOBY POV/

"Thanks again, Noel." I said, walking through his front door.

"Nah man. It's no problem." He replied, helping me move my stuff in the guest bedroom.

"So, did you see Kyrie break Lebron's ankles at the game against Cleveland and Miami? Sick as FUCK!" I told him, remembering the game.

"Gosh man. I hate the heat. I don't like Cleveland but Kyrie is a badass."

"Agreed." I said. We talked for a while and played video games. Then later at around 7, the doorbell rang. It was the 5 girls, my sister, and Damien.

"Damien told us you are staying here." Jenna said and crossed her arms.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Jenna yelled.

"I'm sorry! I figured you didn't care. Neither would your dad. So I didn't bother to say anything." I stated like it was obvious.

"I care! He may not! But I do!" She admitted.

"Well, if I'm gone, he'll leave. Then neither of us will be in danger. And mom wouldn't either. She's be HAPPY for once." I told her and we all sat down and got to know each other. I got up and grabbed a cup and filled it up with water. I stared out the window.

"Don?!" I asked and ran out the door.

SPENCER POV/

Toby. That's all I can think about. His baby blue eyes. His perfect smile. Perfect hair. perfect everything. I was gonna ask him out tonight. He went in the kitchen. I heard him say, "Don" Then run outside.

TOBY POV/

I can't believe he was here.

"What are you doing here?! I told you to stay away. Our step dad is abusive, and our real dad is dead. Our mom is crying at home. Stay. Away." I told her then ran inside and sat down. He's been in jail. Smoking. Everything like that.

1 WEEK LATER/

All of our "friends" abandon Noel and I. They are bullying us. And im eating in the bathroom stalls. Im scared that i'll get bullied on the way home. They all left together and won't talk to us. I've been cutting. I stopped though. Yesterday. It was already December. I curled up in a ball and started to bawl my eyes out.

"God I know we haven't talked in a long time but listen I really need you give me a sign. Say something. Cause I'm falling apart and I don't think that I can do it. Please god just give me the strength to pull through it. Tell me. Should I give up? I can end it all right now I just don't think I'm brave enough to do it! Cause there has gotta be a better way then suicide. Try to wait it out, give it time. I should be fine. But it's been so long and I still haven't been able to get rid of all the thoughts that I feel inside. So sick, so angry, so mad. And nobody even knows." I stood up and wiped my tears. I walked over to my desk. I sat down at my desk and had a pen and a notepad. I wrote one to my brother, mom, step dad, and my "friends", and Jenna.

'Now I hope that you all feel guilty. Cause I'm broken now and you can't heal me. And now you all have chipped in to kill me. Now the reason that I'm writing to you this evenin, is to tell you bye and that I'm leavin. But don't hold your breath cause I ain't ever coming back.

Sincerely yours,

Toby Cavanaugh.'

Then. Everything went black.

/

"Toby?! Toby?! Are you awake?!" Jenna asked me, crying and holding the note.

"Yes. What happened?" I asked, kind of confused.

"You past out. I'm going to the brew. With the girls." She stated. Careless.

"They've been ignoring Noel, Damien, and I. And bullying us again." I told her. She looked like she didn't know that.

"I'll talk to them about that." then she walked out.

/

Noel, Damien, and I were at the brew, on the stage. I saw the girls. I wanted to play this for them. Really bad.

"Okay. I wrote this song today. This happened last night. I replaced my name with 'Steven'. So really, the Steven kid is playing me." I told the crowd. "It's more of. Like a. A. Rap." I told them. Noel and Damien started strumming.

"Yeah, look

Let me tell you about a kid named Steven

He's slowly running out of things to believe in

Every couple of months his mom leaves him,

for no good reason his step-dad beats him

Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them,

but recently they don't want anything to do with him

Always eating lunch in the bathroom stall,

he just wants to feel normal and be cool again, yeah

Always feeling like the outcast, he's been going crazy ever since his dad passed

He needs guidance and advice but instead

he only has breakdowns and flashbacks of the car crash uh

It's been getting harder everyday, if he was still around everything would be ok

Cuz his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel,

but now that same damn tunnel is looking dark and grey

He keeps quiet in the back of the class

and when the bell rings Steven hurries home fast

scared to death the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home

cuz its happened in the past so

He's getting used to the black eyes and fat lips

but all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists

Wishin' he could walk right up to them and show them the scars

and say look you're the reason that I've done this

Maybe they would finally understand and go back to how it was before it all began

But he's just a little different so they taunt him and they beat him

Yeah it's all just fun and games, they don't give a damn, yeah

His older brother ain't around, in and out of jail, hanging with the wrong crowd

He's been doing coke, smoking weed, getting drunk all his life he's a shame

no, he's not too proud

Now his habits are rubbing off on his little bro yeah, but guess what?

Little did he know that everytime he did a line,

everytime he lit a joint,

everytime he took a shot he was sippin mode

So Steven's sitting in his room cryin' now

Doors locked, music up, with his lights out

He just lays there in his bed.

5-6-7 hours til he knocks out

he used to steal pills from his mom it'd be

8-9-10 at a time and they'd be gone

and maybe for a moment all his problems seem to fade,

but they would come back after not too long

and that's when it really sinks in and that's when it hits him

that these god damn drugs won't fix him

Curled up on the floor, can't take it anymore

Now he's talking to God cuz he's the only one that gets him

On his knees, looking up, can't stop crying

"God I know we haven't talked in a long time

but this time I really need you. Please God help me, say something

just give me a sign, because now I'm falling apart and

I don't think that I can do it. Please God, give me the strength

to pull through it. Tell me, Should I give up? I could end it all right now.

I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it.

Cuz there's gotta be a better way than suicide.

Try to wait it out, give it time, you'll be fine.

But it's been so long and I still haven't been able to get rid

of all the thoughts that I feel inside. So sick, so angry, so mad

and to top it off no one even knows that"

That's when he stood up, wiped his tears, walked over to his desk

and got a pen and a notepad

He just couldn't see it getting any better

So on a cold dark night in December, Steven knew exactly what he had to do

But first he sat down and wrote a couple letters

One to his step-dad, one to his mom, sister,

couple to the kids at school, one to his brother

Bringing them the pain that they once brought him

tear drops on the paper one after another

Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty.

Cuz I'm broken now and you can't heal me

And now you're all an accompliss in murder

each and every one of you has chipped in to kill me

So the reason that I'm writing you this evening,

is to say goodbye and to tell you that I'm leaving

But don't hold your breath cuz I ain't never coming back

Sincerely yours, Steven" I finished. All the girls had tears coming down.

"Of course, I stopped cuttin but. It was only one time. So. I thought you should know that." I told them and we walked out.


End file.
